Today has been such an awkward day D: since everything has gone wrong with my uncle and he’s gone into hospital my mind has been a mess. It’s always playing on my mind. As I over think a lot of things I’m always thinking the worst. I think that’s why I enjoy being at school and around my friends because I have other things to take my mind off it.
Because of all this I completely forgot I had science test today!!! I hadn’t revised at all…… The girl I sat next to was bragging how she had got all the revision books and how she had spent time revising. she was shaming me for not revising. I was so flipping stressed I snapped. I shouted at her ” OKAY MAYBE PEOPLE DON’T HAVE THE TIME TO REVISE MAYBE PEOPLE HAVE OTHER THING TO DO THAN WORRY ABOUT A STUPID TEST THAT MEANS NOTHING TO ME. SHUT UP FOR GOD SAKES!!” everyone around me stopped talking and stared…. even my cousin was like woah…everyone knows I’m usually a lovely girl I never shout or get mad at anyone…I’m glad it was noisy in the class at the time so not many people heard.
luckily I think I did well since we had half an hour revision session at the start x
Also today was a pretty embarrassing day. As I took health and social for my core subjects we had to go in the school learning centre to use the computers for research. Before we went I said to myself….I bet one of the lads are in there and HE WAS. This guy a know , James, came in for his lesson as well. It was very embarrassing because the girl sat near him kept shouting out rude stuff to him to try and impress him.FAIL! He kept looking at me and smiling which made me blush. My friend, who knows about me and James talking ,kept looking back and seeing him look at me. It was cute. I spoke to him this evening but he insists he didn’t see me but I know he did.
Later that day when walking to lesson I was looking at the floor being a flop as usual and almost walked into this sixth former!!! Surprise surprise it happened to be Bret ! They guy I recently became friends with… I was so embarrassed “ooops .. hello” he said as he walked past me back up the stairs. My heart dropped so all I could say was uhm hi.. and ran down the stairs. AWKS
Also to give this post a little more meaning and be of some use… I think I’m being talked about by some older guys. in a bad way… and to top it all off I think its my “friend” spreading all the roamers 😦 it kinda makes me really self concious because I cant do anything about it. I have to make sure there’s nothing they can say about me but I still think they pick up on little things. Every laugh I hear from them I think is about me… they always seem to be looking at me when I turn around it’s like you’re constantly being watched and their waiting for you to fail…. Now I know you guys may feel like this or feel like you’re being watched but I honestly advice you to tell someone because since I’ve told my best friend kitty she has helped me feel so much better about the situation. I cant thank her enough for being here for me through everything I go through… I love her so much she is the best thing that has ever happened to me x
again thank-you for reading , goodnight ❤ x